Cole, 2/17/15:

 

 

Hola a todos!  I hope that everyone is doing as well as I am, if not better! 

 

     Where shall I begin???  Well, I suppose the last post I wrote that was not concerning packages of precious makeup sent to the wrong address or irrational people from a world I left behind for a reason, was written about more important things that are near and dear to my heart.  More specifically: work.  I stated that I was happy with work, more than happy, actually, I was thrilled, but I still wanted more.  The things I wanted most:  More hours, the best shifts, and the highest sales.  Done, done, and DONE!  Add to that list a promotion and a raise in pay.  That’s right!  Not but four months in, and I’m already climbing the ranks.  I’m so proud of myself! 

 

     The funny thing is, I don’t really know why my sales are the highest, and they aren’t highest in an insignificant amount, either.  The differences are astronomical, even with people who have similar shifts and hours, and more tasting room experience.  I don’t even try to sell wine, I just do.  Imagine what I could sell if I really pushed myself!  Or would that even matter?  It might have the opposite effect.  I’m not a salesperson, I’m not a kiss ass, and I’m not a wine snob.  I treat everyone exactly the same, whether they look like they have money or are dirt-poor transients, and I don’t let anyone talk down to me.  If people are being snippy or rude, I just pour, say my two cents about the wine, and walk away.  I don’t need that negativity.  That’s their problem, not mine.  I’m knowledgeable, yes, about the winemaking process, and our wines especially, but I don’t think that’s why my sales are so high.  I think it’s because when people come in, I’m just on the level and genuine with them.  I think being genuine will get a person a lot further in life than anything else will, depending on the way you go about it.  I’m super casual with people, we chat, shoot the shit, joke around, talk about anything from wine, to sports, to literature, to emotional support animals to the weather, but people laugh with me, and I think laughter is key.  Sometimes I think they laugh at my facial expressions almost more than what is coming out of my mouth, but whatever.  I almost think they are more interested in purchasing a piece of the experience than the actual bottle itself, but perhaps I am giving myself too much credit.

 

     I have received the most wonderful and heartfelt compliments from strangers I will probably never see again, both male and female alike.  There are haters, for sure, but for the most part, the people who come in seriously freaking love me, and find me hilarious and adorable, in my own punk rock, awkward, raw sort of way.  Some days my heart fucking bleeds!  The people I pour for are so awesome, and everyone has a story, and when I am lucky enough to have the time, I listen, and I think that is appreciated.  Some days we are more bartenders than “wine stewards”, but the two professions can be quite similar, and I just try to find that balance between what the customer really needs.  Often times they just want to talk to someone real, and not some robot spewing out tasting notes and turning a deaf ear.  I’m not a robot.  I like having an actual connection with someone.  People can be wonderful or they can be awful, but working in the tasting room has sort of reminded me how much I can love people as individuals.  People can be really great, and blow your fucking mind as to how special and important interactions with strangers can be to your own personal life experience and growth as an individual.

 

  Valentine’s day was a fucking riot, but more of that later…  I’ve taken my style to a different sort of level, in the tasting room, both emotional and physical, and my bosses are supportive of it.  Before, they wanted us all to dress to the nines, but encouraged us to be ourselves.  Once things got comfortable, and they gave me carte blanche, I went full on Cole mode!  Fishnets, mini skirts, my cellar boots, skulls, leather, etc.  I still do my hair and makeup nice.  I rocked the faux hawk in the tasting room once, and though my bosses thought it was hilarious, I think it might be a little too rough for the tasting room.  Nowadays I save the faux hawk for my cellar days.               

 

Am I satisfied?  Of course I am.  Am I done pushing myself and setting even more goals to achieve?  LOL, not a chance!  Have we met?

 

New goals:  Get more cellar hours, and secure working harvest for the winery I am at, not at another winery. 

 

 

I was supposed to have a nice cellar day on February 17^th, the day after I was slammed in the tasting room, pouring for several groups both outside and inside, alone behind the bar, when my boss pulled me aside, told me I was being made lead wine steward, getting a more regular schedule, and getting a raise, and then handing me a key (this time to keep) and bouncing.  She texted me later that my cellar day was cancelled, and I worried that being made lead and getting a raise might oust me from cellar work, which troubled me.  In all honesty, though I love the tasting room, I prefer the cellar.  In an ideal world, I would get to do both, but if a raise meant not getting to work cellar at all, I would be hesitant to take it, more money or not.  Money is not everything, after all…

 

My fears were quelled when I got an email from the winemaker later on the 17^th, asking me about cellar availability.  I said I wanted to work both, right?  Well, on the 18^th I got to do just that.  Never thought I would wear black fishnet nylons under army pants, but I had the opportunity to work a few cellar hours in the morning before working the closing shift in the tasting room.  Challenge accepted, and with pleasure!  I just wish I could pour behind the bar in my cellar gear, and not have to bring a change of clothes. 

 

Still, the cellar hours are much less than I would like.  True, “cellar rat” was not the position that I applied for, and it was not the job that I was hired to do.  Doesn’t change the fact that the cellar is where I would like to end up, unless some other amazing opportunity presents itself.  Even then, I’ve got my heart set on the cellar, production, and making wine, more so than selling it, no matter if I seem to have a knack for selling it or not.  Production is where it’s at!  I think I would be even better at selling our wine if I was helping to make it, anyway.  So that is my latest, greatest goal, and I am up to the challenge!

 

It’s really pretty fucking crazy, the way life works.  I don’t want to get into the depths of all that right now, or this post will end up being a hundred pages, when more often than not, I can’t even manage to keep them under ten pages at the least, even when I feel like I don’t have much to say at all.  But I was thinking about that Monday that it was so busy and I was on my own, on a holiday weekend, and I was later told I was being given a raise, and how after the past two years that have been pretty much shit, things were coming together in an incredible way, and maybe I would not appreciate these awesome opportunities as much as I do had I not been through what I have been through.  Just a thought.  I have never thought of myself as someone who takes things for granted or is not appreciative, but struggling and trying times make advances and opportunities more beautiful than had you just been handed everything your entire life and never had to struggle to achieve what you do.  Appreciation is a beautiful thing!

 

Later that evening, I was pouring for a few groups inside, once things had mellowed down a little, and though I should have been entering credit card tips and starting to close the bar down, one of the groups wanted to chat quite a bit, and I was more than happy to acquiesce.  It was a group of four; two very pleasant, young-ish couples.  One of the girls kept asking me questions about wine, our wines, wine making in general, and everything in-between.  I answered her questions with confidence, and without hesitation, to the best of my ability.  Even questions I told her I probably didn’t know the answers to too well, all of the sudden I was spouting off knowledge I didn’t even know I had.  She asked me how I got to know so much, and I told her I didn’t really know, and then I told her a bit of my story, feeling that not knowing how I knew what I did was probably not a very good response, even though at the time she asked me, it was sort of a mystery to me.  This is probably why my sales are the highest.  I am not pretentious, I am just me…

 

I told her that I had been in the industry seven or eight years previously, and had learned a bit about wine, though not really winemaking practices at that time.  I then told her that I left the industry to work at a nuke plant and do construction, installed solar panels, and had only very recently gotten back into the industry, starting with working a harvest, and ending up in the tasting room.  I told her that I probably knew so much because I was a total nerd.  I told her I didn’t have a boyfriend, and spent most of my time reading, hanging out with my dog, drinking wine, tasting with co-workers, and studying my world atlas of wine.  She laughed and accepted my explanation.  It was honest, at least. 

 

The crazy thing is, I really don’t know how I know as much as I do.  Yes, I worked a harvest, and I study on my time off, but the eight-year gap out of the industry was pretty much spent drinking beer and whiskey.  I mean, I always loved wine, and continued to drink it, but when you work eight to twelve hour days, come home reeking of sweat, dirt, diesel, oil, paint, adhesives, etc, you don’t exactly want to swirl around a glass of Syrah or Cabernet Sauvignon.  You want a fucking scotch neat, or else you want a beer, to guzzle, sometimes in the shower with you as you wash the stench and pain and soreness of the day off of you.  I still drank wine, on occasion, while I was working those hours and those jobs, but the dedication, appreciation, and research aspect of the wine drinking process was mostly dead and gone.  I knew if I was drinking shit, or drinking something lovely, but I didn’t think too much about what I was drinking at the time.  It was more a matter of pairing something with dinner than fine tuning my palate, researching, and obsessing over stainless steel versus new French oak, neutral French oak, Hungarian oak, American oak, months aged both barrel and bottle, vineyard location, warm versus cool climate, pumpovers, punchdowns, winemaker, cold soak, yeast decision, old vine, new vine, terroir, origins of grape varieties, old world versus new word style, vineyard practices, a specific year, malo-lactic fermentation, residual sugar, brix, weather, de-stemmed or whole cluster ferment, press fractions or free run juice, and temperature, both concerning the year the fruit of the wine came to fruition and when the wine is served and in which shape of glass, and preferably in a Riedel... Where did this knowledge come from?  I don’t really know.  Everywhere, I guess, and just from a passion of wanting to know and researching because my brain thirsts for knowledge in wine much the way it does with languages.  I will never settle for a simple explanation.  I will always thirst to know more.  I cannot stand being mediocre.  I always want to be the best, know the most, or else I feel like a failure.  Most of the time I don’t even realize how much of a nerd I am actually being.  I have heard it said “what is normal to the spider is chaos to the fly”.  What is “normal” for me is chaos, or else utter ridiculousness, to others.  I am ok with that.  I am ok with being ridiculous… 

 

Update! (I do updates because sometimes writing a post is a two or even several day affair -due to work schedule and other anomalies- and sometimes new shit crops up, and I’m too lazy to go back and edit to death what has already been written.  It’s my blog post, I can do what I want…) -As of 2/18/15, the day I dressed for work with black fishnets under my army pants, and brought a change of clothes for the quick transition from cellar to tasting room, my boss told me that I am now full time, and cellar hours are going to be a decent portion of my workload.  I was euphoric all day long, even after I climbed down from the stainless steel tanks we were topping, with Cabernet-soaked ass and panties, to pour in the tasting room until close.  Excitement, euphoria, uninhibited joy and extreme jubilation are just some words or phrases I would use to describe my state of mind at that point, and really that entire day, progressing and evolving throughout the remainder of the week.

 

The next day was pretty much the same, just more cellar hours, same outfit decision.  On the day of the 19th, I still dressed with fishnets under my cellar gear, only this day, I was cellar, tasting room for two hours to pour for a private party of twenty, then back to cellar, and I loved every fucking minute of that day!  Seriously, dear reader or follower, I’m so happy these days I could cry, and I probably would, if I weren’t so damn happy blasting music, dancing around, and singing at the top of my lungs.  My life is as decadent as a flourless chocolate cake, frosted with fudge, topped with chunks of maple bacon.  Sometimes I have to stop and remind myself to breathe or else I would choke and suffocate on what pure joy tastes and feels like.   

 

 

My jubilation for my own current work situation was enhanced even more when I found out that my two very favorite co-workers were advancing within the company in ways of their own as well.  It honestly brings a tear to my eye, I am that happy for all of us.  We are growing and expanding in different ways, and it is as good for the company as it is for us. 

 

My favorite female co-worker, I’ll call her “Cookie”, is taking over wine shipments, wine club, scheduling, and other tasting room duties.  She was the perfect person for the job, and I know she will do well.  My favorite male co-worker, I’ll call him “Mr. Proper”, is going to have less tasting room hours, as he is headed out on the road, for marketing and sales.  These are two of the people I actually hang out with outside of work.  They are badass, super fun and super knowledgeable people, and I feel lucky to count them as friends. 

 

As for me, I am getting regular cellar hours, in addition to tasting room hours, as I make the slow transition from tasting room to cellar and production, and will also most likely receive a decent, consistent amount of overtime, and it also seems that I will indeed get to work harvest with this company as well.  I may have thought my year began only mediocre, and then decided it was good because it wasn’t bad, but this week has had me in a constant state of fucking euphoria, and I am so happy I could kiss random strangers just for the sake of kissing someone, and spreading this love that is just oozing out of me, and that I want to share with the world.  I cannot remember the last time I was this happy.  Probably the last time I was this happy was when I was leaving the States to live in Spain for six months.  The only thing that could make me happier than leaving this country for good would be for me to have all cellar hours, and get to work production again, full time.  But I have to say I am liking the production and tasting room balance, for now.  I like dressing cute, pouring wine, shooting the shit with people, who can be so wonderful and inspiring, so complimentary and encouraging, but I also like working with the wine, shutting people out, blasting music, rocking out, learning, and being a part of the entire wine making and tending process.  I guess I do have words for how happy I am, as I am writing about my week that has just absolutely blown my fucking mind and made me so incredibly grateful for where I am at, but I am just describing events, more so than emotions.  My emotions at this point in time are still somewhat difficult to put into words.  I’m so happy I feel like I could spontaneously combust.  That is all…

 

 

As for Valentine’s day, well, all I can really say is that it was a cluster fuck from the minute I walked in the door.  We were understaffed, to say the least.  In a situation like that, I just act like it’s a gigantic fucking party, and when I hear co-workers or drunken guests breaking glasses, I just clap my hands and yell out a pleasant holler, because at that point, what else can you really do?  People pretty much already have their minds made up when they walk into a situation like that anyway, and if they want to hate, then their hatred has a lot more to do with their own inadequacies than ours.  If you walk into a tasting room on a day like that with a chip on your shoulder, odds are you won’t have a good time.  You need to just be able to roll with the punches, relax, enjoy your wine, and enjoy the atmosphere.  It’s a castle, for fuck sake, and a packed house to boot!  Un-wad your panties and enjoy yourself.  If you want a private taste on a slammed Saturday, go to Napa.  Paso doesn’t want to be pretentious.  Paso wants to be real. 

 

I wasn’t about to let anyone get to me that day.  I was on fire that day!  I had war paint on, was dressed in black fishnet tights, my cellar boots, a black halter top, hair and makeup done nice, and cute little black dress shorts.  My mood was solid, as it tends to be as of late, up until happy turned into complete euphoria, on the 18th, and I wasn’t going to let anyone shit on my happiness. 

 

I had people in stitches for most of the day.  The cool people, who realized we were slammed, appreciated it, and laughed with us, or at least with me.  I had people loving the shit out of me that day!  In order to keep people smiling, if I saw an empty glass, whether they were people I was pouring for, or people my co-workers were pouring for, I would just pour whatever was in my hand, smile, and keep moving.  There were a few unhappy campers, but for the most part, people got into the party atmosphere, and really had a good time.  It was our highest sales day to date, so I know my bosses were pleased. 

 

At one point, toward the time things seemed like they were starting to wind down (though they actually never really did, right up until closing), I had an older woman that I recognized, and a wine club member, come up to me, wrap her arms around me, and give me a huge hug.  I didn’t even know she was there, as I was not pouring for her, but I thought it was so cute the way she just felt the need to come up to me, say hello, and hug me.  I’m not even a hugger!  I don’t even hug my friends!  But she was just so damn adorable!  I couldn’t resist, and I told her it was great to see her and I was so glad she could make it, asked her if she was having a nice time, etc.  More often than not, on days like that day, you don’t have time to connect with people on that level, but you find a way to do it anyway, and that is what makes the experience for people, and that is why people continue to come back to your specific winery, out of all the other wineries out there in Paso Robles to choose from.  The people pouring behind our bar are different, and special, and awesome, and that is why we are getting busier and busier, and why people can’t seem to get enough of us.  It makes me smile that I am a part of that, and part of the reason we can make that sort of situation happen, and I still want to be a part of that, I just would prefer to be the person who comes up from the cellar to make an appearance and make a club member feel even more special than to be the person habitually behind the bar.  Fingers crossed, that is the way things are trending, but I want it too badly to allow myself to breathe and accept it as reality at this point in time.  I won’t allow myself to breathe for real until I hear from the winemaker’s mouth that I will become full time cellar in the very near future.  Until then, all I can do is study my ass off, work my ass off, tread lightly, stay confident, and hope that my dedication and eagerness to please, do well, and succeed is appreciated.

 

 

There is a lot more I could say about my current job situation, but I have been sworn to secrecy, and I always have been and always will be a dedicated, company girl.  While trying to seek advice from our main marketing and sales guy, he told me my current stance within the company was all about my “walk”, and my “walk” is “solid, appreciated, and respected”, and I just need to keep it up.  Rather too cryptic advice, for my taste, but encouraging, in any case.

 

I may write under a pseudonym, but far too many people are privy as to whom I actually am, and some information is reserved for family and close personal friends outside of the industry at this point in time.  Let’s just say that the information I have been told is very enticing, and I hope that I can at some point in the near future reveal said information to friends and sincere, faithful, kindhearted followers of this blog…

My happiness these days is pretty obvious, but I do love my lipstick!

 

 

 

Quick re-cap of the year, thus far:  Wanted to be better about some things, and I posted a few of them on New Year’s day.  They were simple things, but things that were important to me.  Have I succeeded in keeping up with doing the things I wanted to?  Yes! 

 

I drink more water throughout the day, and not just in the morning and at night.  Purchasing bottles of Pelligrino to take to work with me help.  I just prefer the taste of mineral water, sparkling, and at room temperature.  It tastes amazing! 

 

I wake up grateful every morning.  This was not exactly a challenge in the month of January, but it didn’t come as first nature every morning either.  Some days I had to remind myself to be grateful and appreciative of the things I have, but I’ve pretty much been on a roll since the beginning of February, and if things continue in the same vein, I don’t see any problem with waking up every damn morning being grateful for the rest of my life! 

 

And, I am especially happy to announce that I have been taking exceptional care of my teeth.  This was my biggest challenge for the new year, mostly because I am lazy, but also because flossing sucks, and I would most often fall asleep reading in bed, and not bother to brush my teeth when I awoke at four in the morning, with the lights on, my book by my side, a half-full glass of red wine on my nightstand, and a golf pencil that was tucked behind my ear somewhere lost in my bed.  True, a couple of nights I fell off the wagon, and epically failed, but aside from those couple of nights, and a night or two where I either flossed or brushed, but didn’t do both, I have been very good about taking care of my teeth, and I can already see noticeable results.  The key was moving toward the floss pick, to better reach my back teeth, and doing it while I was reading in bed, after finishing my glass of wine and graduating to water.  Having clean teeth just feels better, not to mention that having whiter teeth means they get less stained while I am at work, and come in having to sniff, sip, taste, swish around, and spit out around 14 wines prior to pouring them, four white and ten red, in order to make sure I am not pouring a faulty or cork-tainted wine to a customer, and clean teeth don’t turn purple as quickly as teeth with bad oral hygiene practices do.  Brushing with whitening toothpaste and sprinkling a little baking soda on the toothpaste has helped as well, and I am considering beginning to “pull oil” also, as I hear that practice has whitening aspects, as well as other health benefits. 

 

So, has my year been great so far?  Yes.  Am I proud of myself?  Yes.  Am I pleased that I am now, transitioning from tasting room to cellar, and am almost guaranteed to work harvest?  Yes!!!  But yet again, I must ask myself:

 

Am I satisfied?  (Of course I am).  Am I done pushing myself and setting even more goals to achieve?  LOL, not a chance!  Have we met?!!

 

     New, “short” long-term goal?  Become cellar master.  After that?  Europe is on my mind, but it’s far too in the distant future to get that crazy about my goals.  Goals and dreams can be different or they can be the same, but these days, I find myself too insanely content with the present to worry too much about a future that far ahead of me.  These days, I am too infatuated with my present to give the future too much thought at all, and that, I believe, is a beautiful thing…

 

Namaste!

 
And then just because this shit is really funny!!!: