Thursday, July 18, 2013

(Cole):



     There is a reason so many people refer to dating as “the dating game” and that is the very reason I don’t want to play.  I am not a game player, nor have I ever really been.  I’m just too old for this shit…



I will admit, I have an iPhone 5, but I don’t use it the way it was meant to be used, and I should probably have a dinosaur phone like Marge does.  All these “young” people with their aps.  They can have them!  Take your angry birds and your futuristic video games.  I’m good with Solitaire.  It’s my one guilty smart phone pleasure, and lets be honest, it’s really not that “smart”. 



As my ex husband never hesitated to remind me, I was born old.  I yell out the window at kids for riding their bikes on the wrong side of the street (not to be mean.  It’s dangerous and illegal!), I only just recently starting reading my news online, and I prefer the original Super Mario Brothers for Nintendo than this new age, hyper realistic crap!  I don’t understand it and I don’t care to.  I don’t even have my phone set up to receive email.  I find it annoying to have my phone going off every five minutes, and besides, I’m a creature of habit.  I prefer to check my email in the morning.  It’s a part of my morning routine like reading the news while drinking a cup of coffee, brushing my teeth, taking a shit, etc.  I like my routines as much as I like my solitude, and I don’t like people disrupting them.



So if I don’t like to play, why am I?  I’m not afraid of dying alone and more often than not I would rather spend a Friday or Saturday night curled up with my dog in pajamas on the couch, conversing with Marge or Wednesday Addams or even just watching an old movie I’ve already seen hundreds of times.  I am a creature of habit and a creature of comfort, and lets face it, I am out of the habit of dating and I find it decidedly uncomfortable.  However…  It would be nice to have someone who enjoyed doing the things I enjoy, someone who enjoys them as much as I do, and someone positively delicious to look at while we are doing these enjoyable things.  In other words, I suppose what I am looking for is companionship, which I truly believed I would never want again once I separated from my now ex-husband. 



It’s true that I have companionship with my friends, but I don’t want to fuck my friends.  Aside from the fact that if I wanted to we would probably already be more than friends, thus eliminating my conundrum in the first place, most of my friends don’t exactly enjoy a lot of the things I enjoy doing.  Take Marge for example.  She is my best friend and partner in crime, but she would rather drive a nail through her hand than go to a nice restaurant, order several courses, sit for hours and then finish with a nice scotch and a shot of espresso.  I’m fine with that, and totally understand, so when we go out, we usually stick with Mexican food and Margaritas or burgers and beer.  We both enjoy that, and we always have a blast doing that together, but that doesn’t mean I don’t crave someone to love the fine dining experience as much as do, and even better, someone I want to wrestle with once we devour the last crumb of food and drop of wine. 



So great.  At least I’m making some progress in figuring out what it is I want.  So aside from the people messaging me on the dating website and asking me if I want to have a threesome with them and their fiancés (seriously, and all the guy sent was a picture of his abs to go along with it!  I mean come on.  If you want me to consider it you should at least send a picture of you AND your fiancé, and I want to see your faces!) I am hearing from people who aren’t terribly horrifying, but this is the problem.  I don’t want to settle for ‘not terribly horrifying’, like the idiot whose screen name was seriously “meatpole4u2danceon”.  I want to meet someone who actually piques my interest as much as I do theirs, someone who bothers to read my profile and comment in an intelligent, grammatically correct way, someone who says more than “Hey sexy” or “Wow” or “nice eyes”.  If a man can’t at least make an effort well then neither will I! 



I have been on a few dates.  And the dates went well, but I could just tell right away that they weren’t going to work for me.  Some of them passed the “yes, I could picture him naked between my legs” test, but I am at a point in my life where I am looking for more than just a fuck n chuck.  I want someone I want to fuck and sit across from at a table and stand the sight of their face, their body, and their conversation for the duration of the meal. 



After basically giving up hope that I would find anyone compatible with me, let alone someone I also didn’t mind looking at, I was contacted by someone who not only met my expectations, he exceeded them.  We’ll call him The Giant, because the guy is almost 6’5”.  Aside from being huge, (I don’t know in how many ways yet.  I’m a lady!) at 39 he is ten years older than I, which is prefect.  He also speaks French and Spanish, is a certified sommelier, knows more about food and wine than I do, also loves to consume decadent, multi-course meals over hours, with each course paired with a perfect wine, loves to read, has read my favorite author, Henry Miller, extensively, has tattoos, likes to shoot guns, is well traveled, and is very active both in sports and in the community, and… he’s easy on the eyes.  We had an incredible first date, talking, enjoying the sunshine, munching on food, drinking wine, hopping from place to place.  I had a great time!  There’s just one little thing I’m not sure about yet.  He’s very forward, and I don’t mean sexually.  I mean emotionally, and it’s freaking me out! 



I like it when someone likes me, but when someone who barely knows me likes me as much as this guy does (or at least claims to), I see red flags.  One date, and though it was a long one, and we had been texting for about three weeks before even meeting, one date and he is saying things like he wants to take me to The French Laundry in Napa for an epic dinner, up the coast to Carmel and Monterey, wants to take me Universal Studios and even Italy.  I’m like ‘dude, you don’t even know if you like me yet!’ and he’s like ‘oh yes.  I can tell.  I like you already.’  So there’s that, and the fact that he’s already asking me if I am comfortable with his work schedule, if I want kids and if I’ll re-marry.  It’s too much!  It felt like I hadn’t even released the E brake yet and he wanted go full throttle.  It was overwhelming.



Here’s a sample text exchange we’ve had since our first and only date, just to paint a clearer picture:



The Giant:  Marry me?

(This isn’t the fist time he has jokingly “proposed”.  Until this time, I had either ignored the question entirely, told him I was never getting married again, or told him he was insane.  So this time I decided to mix it up a little, to weird him out a bit and scare some honesty out of him…)

Me: If I ever get married again I want a black diamond and I’m wearing a black leather and black lace dress with Hermes Metisse strappy sandals also in black… I am a freak!

The Giant:  For you my dear, the world!!

Me: You’re all talk!

The Giant:  Have I come up short somewhere?  You know we are a power couple!  We are so similar and share so many things in common.  It’s scary good!



I’m thinking ‘what?  We’re a couple already?’  And not just a couple, but a “power couple”!  What in the hell do I bring to the “relationship” to make us a power couple?  I’m practically a degenerate as far as my parents and the nuclear industry are concerned.  


I don’t mean to sound ungrateful, in fact, I’m flattered, it’s just too much too soon.  There’s no way the guy can like me that much, which makes me doubt the sincerity in the things he says, but if he is sincere, and I am just being paranoid, well, why is he so eager to lock me down after a few weeks of texting and one date?  Does he think I want a white knight in shining armor on steroids who wants to fast track a fairytale ending for me?  If he thinks that’s what I want he would be soooooo wrong about me.  I had a white knight and a fairytale life and I ditched it all pretty quickly to be on my own again.  I am not drowning, so I don’t need to be rescued…   

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