Tuesday, July 2, 2013

Cole 7/2/13

The following post is the second half of Cole's post from 6/19/13. Some of the information may be a little behind the time but the information will always be relevant. I recommend going back a re-reading Cole's last post so that you are tuned in before you start to read this one.

(Cole)

Marge goes out on dates with men hoping to hit it off, looking for a distraction, and ultimately to replace Turtle, but in her mind she is not ready for someone to replace turtle because he is her “ideal mate”.  I’m not exactly sure that rapist is my “ideal”, but I do love him, I do want him, and I’m not sure it’s fair to date this other guy when, in reality, I would still rather be with rapist.  I guess the grass is always greener on the other side, and I should calm down, shut the hell up, and take things one day at a time, accept things as they are, and stop stressing over someone who didn’t really ever want to “be” with me in the first place.  The problem is, we are still speaking, which sort of leads into why my life has been somewhat terrible the past week. 



Rapist and I may be speaking now, but we didn’t for close to a week.  The reason we weren’t speaking was because, in addition to saying some really nasty things to him (for example: “you’re a complete, conceited fucking asshole, but good for you.  You’re so fucking shallow you need ‘no diving’ signs around your placid, mundane, tragic existence!”), I also told him that I was dating.  I described the carpenter to him, and held nothing back about how attractive I found him, how I had met him the year previous, and that I would continue to date other people unless he was willing to submit to my terms.  To put things simply, none of what I had to say had gone over well.  But no matter how much I have pissed rapist off in the past, and believe me, I have plenty of times, he could never stay mad at me for more than a day, nor could he go without speaking to me, even if it was in a stern, reprimanding, angry sort of way (which I always found incredibly sexy!). 



Well, Saturday was my forth date with the carpenter.  I awoke with my stomach in knots, engulfed with anxiety.  Those who know me know that I do tend to struggle with anxiety, from time to time.  The thing is, I wasn’t stressing over the carpenter, necessarily, I was stressing over what rapist would do if he found out I was going on yet another date with the carpenter, even though rapist wasn’t even speaking with me.  My mind was all over the place because the thing is, I’m torn (between the two).  Now that I’ve gotten to know the carpenter a little better, I like him.  He’s fun, we have a great time, he’s funny, sweet, attractive, but with a bit of a naughty streak.  I guess the only thing I don’t like about him is that he’s not rapist.  That, and the fact that he doesn’t read, but I’ll get into that in a bit… 

I just couldn’t wrap my head around the fact that even though rapist and I weren’t speaking, I was stressing over him big time.  Lucky for me Marge finally returned from a hair cut and Cost-Co run with Wednesday Adams to save the day, and in the meantime, I had decided to subdue my anxiety by cracking a pint. 



There are many, many reasons why Marge and I became friends, but I think one of the most important reasons is the fact that we can bounce ideas, emotions, thoughts, and theories off of each other without fear of being judged.  In fact, she had conjured up a theory on my predicament on the way up the grade, and I was eager to hear it.  It went something like this:

Marge: You like ‘the carpenter’, right?    

Me: Yes.

Marge: He’s nice to look at?

Me: YES!

Marge:  He’s a nice man?

Me: Yes.

Marge:  You think he’s afraid of you?

Me:  Yes.

Marge:  I think you’re afraid he doesn’t have any throw down, that he’s scared to dish it out the way you want it.

Me:  Yes.

Marge: Once you know what you like, it’s difficult to settle for anything else, isn’t it?

Me: ‘sigh’… Yes…



I guess in a way, Marge was “hinting” at the fact that someone who is afraid of me wouldn’t have the courage to deliver what I really need in a relationship (Martychyst), and that if I didn’t get what I needed, and if I knew someone was afraid of me, I wouldn’t exactly respect him (martychyst again).  I respected rapist.  Rapist knew what I wanted, knew exactly how to handle me, (in the sack and out of it) and he rarely put up with my shit, wasn’t afraid to put me in my place.  He knew I didn’t exactly fear him, in fact, far from it, but it was sort of a part of “the game”, part of the excitement, part of why we got along so well, apart from our obvious issues.  The trouble with the carpenter is, if he can’t man up and earn my respect pretty early on, he’ll never earn it, and that will be detrimental to the health of our future relationship, should we both decide we want one.  



And now onto the next and final phase of this post (I swear!  Sorry it’s so damn long.  Making up for last week, I suppose…).  I do the facebook thing.  Those of you who do facebook know that you can have both a profile picture and a “cover photo”, should you so choose.  For a really long time my cover photo was a picture of an older gentleman with shelves upon shelves of books behind him and there was a quote on the photo that read “We need to make books cool again.  If you go home with someone and they don’t have books, don’t fuck them.” 

I am a reader.  I always have been, and I hope to fuck that I always will be.  Reading excites me, stimulates me, sometimes arouses me, but mostly I just really enjoy it and prefer if my friends and lovers enjoy reading as well.  I find intelligence an incredibly attractive and sexy trait, so long as you’re not so intelligent it stunts your common sense and makes you an idiot savant (Martychyst yet again, sigh…).  I only just recently changed my cover photo, (to Steve Buscemi, in Reservoir Dogs, playing the world’s smallest violin) but a conversation with Marge and Wednesday Addams about annoying, grammatically incorrectly text messages that say things like “b4” instead of “before” and the like, it brought to my attention something about the carpenter and I, and our more than obvious differences. 



Aside from the fact that he doesn’t read, he really only appeals to the “white trash” side of me, while I have this complete other “cultured” side of me that he will never relate to.  I mean, while I don’t doubt that he would be incredibly respectful and gentlemanly in a restaurant situation, can I take him to a four star restaurant, order several courses, do the champagne, wine and espresso thing, and then go to an opera with him?  I don’t really know.  Probably, but I doubt he would enjoy it, and the last thing I would want is to force someone to endure something they had no desire to endure.  I hate when people do that to me!  Is it too much to ask for someone to be into the same things I am into?  Should I stop seeking everything I want in one man and just expect him to fill a handful of the “requirements” I would like him to, and hope that my friends will fill the rest?  Am I asking too much?

 

Probably, but I am a woman, after all.  Isn’t that what women do?  And at the same time, I know that rapist is just as capable to dress up in a suit or tux and do the fine dining thing, could clean up just as well as he could appeal to my “good ol’ boy” side, the side that wants to ride dirt bikes, shoot pool, shoot guns, shoot whiskey, and drink ghetto beer at the lake.  I suppose I’ve gotten off track though.  Back to reading, blatantly terrible grammar, and horrifying text messages…



As Marge, Wednesday, and I were chatting about how much we HATE when people send us “lazy texts” or texts that are just wrong, confusing, grammatically incorrect and should never be sent, I happened to mention some of the things the carpenter has said to me throughout our text exchanges... 



DISCLAIMER! 

WHAT I AM ABOUT TO SAY IS NOT MEANT TO BE RUDE. I AM JUST BEING HONEST!



So, the three of us ladies started talking, and, well, I basically couldn’t hold back something that had bothered me about the carpenter.  Don’t get me wrong, I think he is great, but, sometimes people text things that you wish they wouldn’t.  What he texted me made me want to throw my phone out the window and scour my eyes with bleach. 

It happened shortly before he went to bed, and it read “I’m getting ready to hit the sackaroo.”  In case you didn’t catch that, a thirty-year-old man texted me the non-existent word ‘sackaroo’!
Oh my god!  Ick!  In my humble opinion, it only acceptable time to speak like this is to a child under the age of about six or seven! In his defense, he does not speak like this at all, but some of his texts can be somewhat childlike.  I blame his nervousness, but it doesn’t change the fact that he texted it, and what has been texted cannot be un-texted, once a certain “message” has been sent…

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